The holidays are supposed to be joyful… and they are, but let’s be honest, they can also feel chaotic (hence my title naming this season the ‘holidaze’).
Caregivers might feel this even more intensely. Routines change, emotions run high, and expectations (from others and ourselves) may get even louder.
At Friendship Center, we know this season can bring a complicated mix of gratitude, grief, joy, exhaustion, and everything in between. So here are some gentle, practical ways to help you move through the holidaze with a little more ease.
Tip #1 : Lower the Bar
Traditions are beautiful, but they can also be a lot to keep up with. This might be the year the cookies come from the store or the decorations stay simple. It is OK to do less. Ask yourself: what matters most? Then give yourself permission to let the rest go.
Tip #2: Simplify Your Celebrations
Large gatherings, loud environments, or unfamiliar places can be overwhelming for someone living with dementia. Instead, consider a shorter visit, quieter setting, familiar spaces (maybe have people come to you instead of going to them?), and penciling in just one or two meaningful activities instead of trying to keep up with a busy schedule!
Tip #3 : Say What You Need!
This one is much easier said than done but push past the awkwardness and give a real answer when someone asks “how can I help?”. Some things you can ask for (or offer if you are wanting to help another caregiver):
- An hour of help
- A grocery run
- A meal dropped off
- Someone to sit with your loved one or take them for a walk/ to the store etc. so you can rest
- A ride, an errand, or simply a listening ear
If you don’t know who to ask, tell us. The Friendship Center team is here to help brainstorm, suggest resources, and support you. Sometimes the hardest part is saying the need out loud but that’s also where things begin to get easier.
Tip # 4 : Prepare for Emotions
Holidays have a way of highlighting who’s missing. It’s normal to feel sadness, nostalgia, gratitude, or even relief.
Take a moment to honor those feelings in a way that is meaningful to you; maybe that’s lighting a candle, wearing or holding an item of theirs, telling a special story or maybe just saying their name. You don’t have to pretend everything is fine. Grief and joy are both welcome at the table.
Tip # 5: Maintain Routines…When and Where Possible
If possible, try to keep a bit of structure to the days (structure = comfort). Examples could be keeping mealtimes consistent, planning for regular ‘rest’ periods (naps or quiet breaks) or familiar music and activities. Anchors like these help reduce confusion and overwhelm during this busy time, especially when Friendship Center’s regularly scheduled programs are unavailable.
Tip # 6 : Know That Your Plans and Reality Do Not Always Align
Someone might get overstimulated. Someone might get tired quicker than expected. Someone might have a stomach ache; or maybe they have a sudden burst of energy! Plans might look different in real life than they did in your head. Flexibility is your superpower this season!
Tip # 7 : Prioritize Breaks for YOU
Caregivers are notorious for forgetting themselves. Add in the holidays, and self-care becomes even more elusive. Keep some quick ‘break’ activities in your back pocket, such as:
- A 10-minute walk.
- A phone call with a friend.
- A favorite tv show or songs.
- A quiet cup of coffee.
- A warm shower.
- A nap.
Tip #8 : Acknowledge and Celebrate the Happy Moments
Take special notice of the laughs, smiles, silly or sentimental moments. There is so much your heart is carrying and it deserves to give as much attention to the joyful moments as it does the tougher ones!
Tip #9 : Give Yourself a BIG Hug
You are carrying an emotionally, physically, and mentally heavy load. This season might not make that load any lighter. You’re loving in a way that is rare and powerful. We see you. We support you. And we’re cheering you on through every part of the holidaze.
Tip #10 : Take Advantage of Resources Available to You
- Friendship Center’s three FREE Respite Saturdays (contact Nerely at program@fcsb.org to sign-up, space is limited).
- Join one of our caregiver support groups: Mondays 2:30-4:00 PM, 1st & 3rd Tuesdays of the month 2:00-3:00 PM, 2nd & 4th Wednesdays of the month 9:30-11:00 AM and Fridays 10:30-11:30 AM. Schedule for these in-person groups is subject to change during the holidays. Contact us to confirm.
- Our bountiful Caregiver Resource Hub with tip sheets, helpful videos and info specifically curated for dementia caregivers. See below for some resources available on the Hub page.
- Navigating the Holidays – Tip-Sheet ALZ 2023 – PDF
- Dementia Behaviors ALZ 2024 – PDF
- Traveling ALZ 2024 – PDF
- Sacred Slowness: The Power of Pausing in Caregiving (video): Learn about the neurobiology and emotional value of slowing down—how present-moment awareness supports trust, connection, and nervous system repair.
- Room by Room Home Safety Checklist
- PDF booklet: At the Crossroads- Family conversations about Alzheimer’s disease, dementia & driving
- Alzheimer’s Association’s 24/7 Helpline: 800.272.3900
Reach out to us anytime for more support resources. You don’t have to navigate the holidaze alone.